Think You’re An Ally? Stop Saying, “That’s So Gay”

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I’m queer and I hate the phrase, “That’s so gay.” I hear it a lot at school. When I explain to my peers that it’s insulting, many of them do stop saying it. The people who keep using it are the people closest to me–my family.

I love my cousin. We can be goofy together. Every time I’m particularly dorky, he likes to say, “You’re hella gay!”

I fire back with, “Duh, you already know it!”

I won’t show it, but it hurts that he uses that phrase. Whether he means to or not, he’s promoting homophobia. The times I do call him out on it, he claims he’s not homophobic and uses the saying, “Just ‘cause.” It’s a nasty habit a couple of my closest friends also have. It’s like, just because they believe they’re allies, they think they’re allowed to say this phrase. And I’m trying to tell them they need to cut it out.

I know my friends and family love me. I just wish they could understand that when they say, “That’s so gay,” they’re not showing me how close we are. They’re showing how much they still need to learn.


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