Self-Discovery Didn’t Go As Expected

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Many people see their sexual orientation as a huge part of who they are. But for me, my identity isn’t really about who I’m attracted to.

I remember the day I joined my school’s’ Gay Straight Alliance. I was 14. Completely unexperienced, and trying to figure out what I was. Gay, straight, or bi?

The other kids tossed around a bunch of labels: agender, pansexual, androsexual, and non-binary–to name a few. The community seemed completely focused on what someone was, not who someone was.

I left the meeting feeling more confused than when I walked in. After a while, I realized I was forcing myself into an environment that didn’t fit. Aside from not being straight, I didn’t have anything in common with the people in my GSA.

Other things I like such as politics, writing and science fiction, make up the bulk of who I am. Even my mild makeup addiction is a more important piece of me than my sexual orientation.

I did learn a lot about myself in GSA — not just my sexual orientation but the fact that I prefer to bond with people over shared interests.

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