Jumping Fears

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By Alayah

July 2nd was my first day being in an actual studio. It was so intense due to the fact I grew up never knowing how to speak up and know how to be comfortable to say and do what I feel but I always kept mine.

When I’m by myself I could rap like no other, I could dance in front of the stars, and I could think to my ability. But on this day, I went in the studio that my grandmother’s church owned and I froze up. I experienced something I never saw before: their studio was fancy. I felt like I was closer to my dream, it felt fantastic. I felt like this was the place I needed to be. When they called me in to meet my personal producer I was going to be working with, he asked how I was doing and I told him I was happy to be there. Then he began telling me how it all works and what I needed to do. The more he explained the instructions, the more I felt like: wow I couldn’t do it. The more he talked, the more I got nervous. But I knew for a fact I couldn’t  back down so I began telling myself how much I wanted this, how much I dreamed to recorded in a nice studio, how bad I want to become a music artist.

I was ready but a little nervous. He put me in the booth I gave him my beat and recorded my first song, “Lonely”.  As I recorded, I put in my all. We started with a hook and I gave it 100% then we moved on to verses. The first verse I did was great. I heard myself in the speakers and thought I did a good job. The producer and my step dad cheered me on and told me how talented I was and how I should keep going. Then I moved on to my 2nd and 3rd verses. I made a couple of mistakes but it was nothing I couldn’t fix.Turns out I recorded a 4 minute song in a hour – I thought it was really good.

I started to look back at how pumped I was on my way to the studio, but when I got there I got cold feet and wanted to leave. I realized what I wanted out of my studio visit was to overcome my fears.

I believe that anyone can do what they want even if they loose confidence. Just look forward to what you want to be capable of, always remind yourself in anyone of your interest that this is something you want to do and something you want to accomplish. Any passion is worth holding onto. Any goal is worth striving for – never doubt yourself.

My momma always told me ever since I chose to write my own music ‘’yourself is your worst critic ‘’ and I strongly agree.

Some things would seem wrong to you when really it’s just the fear you have. That’s how you face obstacles because its always going to be hills and mountains to climb to get to were you want to be.

Everybody should learn how to be confident in life and make choices that satisfies them.

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